I'm Back!!!

Wahaha. Not that I've been away for long, just that I haven't been updating my blog since forever. Hee. And I realise I've procrastinated for sooooooooooooooooooo long that I've got photos from a few years back to share. Haha. Well, maybe I'll just skip the old photos (maybe just randomly place them here when I feel like it. Hee) and share my latest trip to Perth.

Basically, on the first day, we woke up bright and early to go to the airport and took half a day to arrive at Perth by flight. By the time we checked in and went out for dinner, it was already past 5pm, and the shops were mostly closed for the day as it always is in Australia. And there's hardly any interesting TV to watch!!! We ended the trip getting addicted to Discovery Channel, especially Dirty Jobs, don't ask me why but I just love that show. Haha.

Anyway, the next day saw us rising bright and early. Somehow, the sky was already bright before 6am!!! And there's a time difference of 1hour, meaning that I've woken up at 5am (Singapore time) for 2 consecutive days!!! zzzzzzzzzzz

Day 2 was one of the most enjoyable days. We went to the Caversham Wildlife Park where there were animals and blue sky.

Some photos taken at the park...totally love the koala!!!

After that, we headed for a chocolate factory where the chocolates were all handmade. Was busy tasting the yummy chocolates so didn't take pictures there. Hee. We then moved on to a nearby winery. The scenery there was great! took alot of pictures there. It's turning summer when we were there so this tree bearing purple flowers was blossoming everywhere we went, just so pretty!

There were grape vines all along the way.
But didn't get a chance to get near them.

After that we stopped by a non-working farm, ie it's not actually a farm, it's just got a farm ambiance for the tourists. We had barbecue lunch buffet there. The lamb was yummy!!! The owner even made us some kangaroo meat. But it was not well done so basically it was still dripping bloody water!!! Only tried 2 pieces. Haha. But the view outside was quite pretty and peaceful.

Some shots taken behind our lunching place.

Finally, we arrived at Springhill Farm where we were to stay the night. There was supposed to be some farm activities in the afternoon when we arrived but it started to drizzle and it just wouldn't stop. So we couldn't do much but hand around near the bunks. This was a real working farm and it's about a tenth the size of Singapore, though it's only considered average sized! And it's a family-runned farm with only 5 working adults on the farm! I wonder how they manage that~~~

That's me sitting in a real tractor...it's got a hood!!!
There were some animals in front of our bunk and
they were our main entertainment there...
And there's Ollie!!! I love the dog! It's so cute!
When we were there it started to running around as if it wanted to play with us.
It pounced onto me and tried to lick my face when I tried to pat it!!!

This is the scenery from our corridor!!

Basically, being outback means there's no street lights and when it's night time, it's all dark out there. AND YOU CAN SEE THE STARS!!! It's so clear you can really tell where's the milky way!

Phew! I'm tired from typing and collaging all that photos. I'll carry on another time about the rest of the trip, including our freezing 'adventure' waiting for the sun rise. Till then!

Disappointment

I never knew the true feeling of disappointment until now.

I don't even want to talk to you about it. Even when you ask. Everything just feels too late. No matter what you say no matter what you do. Somethings can never be undone.

It used to be something so detached that made me disappointed in you. Now, the feeling just won't go away.

Now I understand how it feels to be unwanted.

原来在你心里我是这样的。。。

成绩不好，就是坏。

坦率，是无礼。

要自由，是不要家。

坚持，是任性。

同样是朋友，我的却是损友。

不一样的成绩单，却同样是我错。

我要的，只是偶尔的一句赞赏、多一点认同。

可是，原来一直以来，在你们心里，我似乎从没达到你们的要求。即使我再努力，好像都没用。反正，在你们心里， 我已经是这样的一个人，我做的一切，你们都已经认定是错的。那我又何必拼命的逼自己去做一个你们要的、却不是自己的我？

Please support IndulgenceLink*!

Hey everyone!

I've just started this online shop with my friend selling handmade accessories and we've just completed our very first series of earrings and placed them on the blog http://indulgencelink.wordpress.com. Please drop by and take a look and let me know what you think of it and how I'm doing. And also see if you like any of the items ok? Haha.

Anyway, about this first series, it's named Simple Indulgence*. It's name probably says everything. The items are all of very simple designs. Nothing too fanciful. A couple of reasons for this.

First of all, we're both newbies in the area of handmade accessories. Besides having worn them myself, I've never in my entire life made any accessories on my own. So this very first series of earrings is actually the very first few pairs of earrings my friend and I have made in our entire life!! So understandably, there's no way we can come up with anything fanciful right at this moment.

Also, the exams are just round the corner. There's absolutely insufficient time for us to learn those fanciful wire twisting or come up with anything jaw dropping within a short span of under a week. Yes, we actually used a very short 5 days to get this online shop running. We decided to set it up last Friday, so we spent the entire afternoon thinking of a name, looking for some bead shops, looking through reference books in the library and setting up our blog and email account. And the weekend was spent fine-tuning the details in the blog and email account, thinking of the general operation process and brainstorming for themes. Yes, believe me when I tell you I've got at least 20 themes right now.

I'm actually pretty surprised how I actually found the drive to rush out everything without any procrastination, besides the fact that my friend was breathing down my neck making sure I completed the blog. Somehow, I'm still puzzled by myself right now.

And anyway, shouldn't everything start simple? And slowly we'll move on to more complex stuff -excited-

Hahz. So people, please do give me some feedback and suggestions so that I can improve ok?

Haha. Tired right now...need to go zzz, there's class tomorrow morning. Nightz world!

Lost

Sometimes I try so hard not to remind myself. But the harder I try...the more it bugs me.

It sucks being stuck in something that I have absolutely lost interests in. Counting the days as it pass, wondering if I'll survive the remaining time or will I screw up and end up extending my nightmare.

I've never in my entire life been such a let down with no sense of guilt...

This just sucks.

p/s: And I'm starving...took my last meal 25 hours ago... -faint-

Spinning world

Oh Man~~~

I'm sick and feeling giddy. And the feeling has been there for 2 days now...Even after going to the doctor and taking medicine didn't really help.

And I have a quiz tomorrow...and presentation this friday...which hasn't been compiled yet.

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND THERE'S CONSOL QUIZ RIGHT AFTER NEXT WEEK'S BREAK!!!!!!!!!

SOMEBODY!!!ANYBODY!!!HELP~~~

I can only look forward to October right now...and I don't even know if I can still look forward to it...

-STUDY-

While waiting...

Was waiting for weinz and shiv yesterday. While waiting for them, I picked up a pen, took a piece of paper, and started scribbling.

It started with trying to write a song, but as I was listening to my mp3, nothing came out.

Then, I decided to write something for my next blog entry--

有时候，觉得自己好可笑。 总是口说一套， 心里想着另一套。

害怕

怕什么？是怕伤害？怕失望？还是怕。。。

自己的脑子， 难道不是我自己最清楚的吗？那为什么，我总是觉得，我最难了解的那个人，是自己？

有时候，就是觉得那么矛盾。

Then I felt that it was kinda short; it wasn't sufficient to reflect what I was thinking. So I started to scribble some of the things I wrote in the past and extended them...

开心就是喜欢吗？那为什么喜欢，总是那么痛？

“可以”就是“应该”吗？ “可以”做到的事，就“应该”去做吗？ “应该”做的事，就“喜欢”做吗？ “应该”是种责任，“喜欢”就是任性吗？

多愁善感不是种错，可为什么总是那么痛？ 为什么有错的人，总是那么无所谓？而为什么无辜的人总是得为这些错的人伤心难过？

And finally, I came to my conclusion of the day...

要是没有明天，我为什么还要为未来担心？

怕

我不想睡，不是怕明天的到来，而是怕今天的离去。

random~~~

Boo! Oh man. I've got loads of drafts sitting in my blogger dashboard waiting for me to complete and post up here, but somehow, whenever I sit down and look at them, I'll start remembering that I've got loads of other things to do. In fact, I'm supposed to be rushing some report right now. And I have barely started on it. Supposed to send it out in twenty minutes time X_x

Bahz. I dunno why, but I feel as though I'm starting to close up again. It's as if I'm starting to shut myself out from the outside world. Perhaps it's the time for me to sit down and do my periodical inner-self dialogue again. But every time I do that, I'll sink into a period of depression. And it seems to become harder for me to get out of those darks times nowadays. I dunno why, but there's always this feeling of uncertainty and helplessness surrounding me.

Shouldn't we live the life that we want? So WTF am I doing in Accountancy? I'm so wasting my own time. I could have done so much more within these three years.

Here goes, it's started without my knowing.

Depression time~~~ T_T

random

lalala.back from taipei!but v lazy t update.haha.and achool's started for a few days le~~~zzz

will try to update asap ok?hee.try la.

anyway.got offered hall...dunno whether t accept not...since i was already all prepared to end my hall life...sigh...any suggestions?

AWAY~~~

Out on holiday in Taiwan~~~

What's the world coming to?

First things first, I'M GOING TO TAIWAN WITH TIAN AND JASM!!!!!!!! So excited!!! First time taking plane without my parents!!! Haha.

Anyway, there was this Live Earth thingy around the world yesterday, wasn't there? I kinda think it was really good that the media is finally taking the initiative to do something for the environment.

However, I still think it was kind of a flop. The concerts were supposed to be telling people to be more environmentally friendly. But right after the concerts, the people simply left LOADS of TRASH behind. Lots of them non-environmentally friendly too. I mean, hello? The message doesn't seem to have been brought across apparently? These people were just there for the show! Sigh. Seems like it's going to take a long while before people really become environmentally aware.

The question now is, how long can our Earth wait?

Then, was watching the news about the new 7 wonders. I almost went crazy.

What exactly does 'wonder' mean to you? Shouldn't it be something that is so amazing in the sense that it's almost impossible to imagine how in the world people at the time of construction could have managed to pull it off so perfectly? It shouldn't just be something people thinks look nice or it has a great meaning behind it right?

I mean, I'm not saying that the meaning and stuff is not important, but, what's it with the Christ Redeemer being one of the wonders? I have absolutely nothing against the statue, or Brazil, or Christians, or even Christ. But, may I know in what way is it considered a 'wonder'? I'm still trying VERY hard to see how it fits into the 'wonder' category. I mean, shouldn't something like the Egyptian Pyramids make a much better candidate as a 'wonder'? Up till now, people still find it unthinkable how Egyptians back then could have built such an architecture with boulders larger than themselves using the technology back then.

I mean, shouldn't something be considered a 'wonder' cause it 'makes you wonder how in the world did they manage it with whatever they had', rather than 'make you wonder how in the world did it get into the list'?

Now THAT, really makes me wonder...

Well, anyway, anyhow, I'm gonna go back to discussing my taiwan trip with tian and jasm. TTFN~~

year 3 projection

I looked into the glass (my laptop la)...and I see it...what the future holds in store for me...(only in my last year of studies)...

A FREAKING SLACK YEAR!!!!!!!!!

Mauahaha. Even though I have to retake my com law, i have only 4 other core modules and 3 electives to clear in year 3. which makes it 4 modules per semester on average.

which is SLACK.

haha.

And on top of that, I have left over S/U options.

I thought I had 2, which means an average of one S/U elective per semester.

But now...I realise...I HAVE 3 S/U OPTIONS LEFT!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!

WOOHOO!!!!I'm lost for words. LOLZ

lousy lousy

screwed up my exams big time...flunked a core module...my only consolation is that it didn't pull down my GPA. unless you wanna take in that 0.01 drop. bahz....

sian-ness

乏味的生活

i have no idea why but there seems to be so little happenings in my life now...i cant even think o smth decent t blog about...

-.-

it's now 2.30am and i've got work in a few hour's time and i'm feeling real sleepy.

but there's this part in me that refuses to go to bed. it's as though by refusing to go to bed i can will time to slow down a little. when time slows down, tml will take a longer time to come, leading to the future coming later. then i can take my time to ponder over how exactly i wish to live my life from then on.

i seem to dread the start of everyday these days. sundays seems to be the only days i look forward to, cause i get to do wad i love doing.

but i hate it when i cant do the things i love doing right. it just makes me feel so useless...

down

not been in the best of mood recently. feeling very vexed over alot o stuff, i'm like experiencing this kinda personality/aims crisis very frequently nowadays.

and the time bomb(s) at home don't help matters at all.

been listening to this other song, by emil chow. maybe due to my mood recently, but it just seems so apt for me.

《寂寞的眼》

这一次我又忘记了改变我自己
这一次我又轻易的相信你是唯一
一次一次聚散分离使我怀疑
世界上没有真正的爱情值得回忆

一次一次告诉自己
伤心往事不该惋惜
一次一次提醒自己
这样的爱情转眼让他过去

但是你寂寞的眼 有寂寞的泪
让我忘了改变我的一切
让我在迷惑之中
忘了曾经深深的叹息

但是你寂寞的眼 有寂寞的泪
让我忘了改变我的一切
让我又不由自主
轻易让你飞入我梦里

任性

今天下班的时候，好好地听了一遍这首歌的歌词。竟发现它的歌词好有意义。怎么会突然有种感同身受的感觉呢？太容易被感动。。。每次发现得不到，就会放开手，然后独自陷入谷底。尝试着逃避，逃避心里的阵阵抽痛。难道注定我会一直这样吗？

《任性》

喜欢听歌 感人的歌
它让我觉得爱是对的
睡不着 我就醒着
不再让日子被打乱了

寂寞很吵 我很安静
情绪很多 我很镇定
因为投入 所以放弃
不愿再被痛醒

固执算不算任性的要求
付出也可能看不到结果
终于你还是选择了放手
用逃避让感情犯错

喜欢唱歌 动人的歌
它让我获得一点心得
得不到我就放掉
不去碰触到我的需要

寂寞很吵 我很安静
情绪很多 我很镇定
因为投入 所以放弃
不愿再被痛醒

承诺算不算任性的要求
人总是不能太容易感动
当爱失去自我失去包容
只想要从混乱解脱

固执算不算任性的要求
付出也可能看不到结果
终于你还是选择了放手
用逃避让感情犯错

喜欢听歌 感人的歌
它让我觉得爱是对的

該何去何從呢?

那天, 走在上班的路上,看到每個趕著上班的人, 心里突然有所感處. 雖然從小就覺得上班族真的好神氣, 可是現在的我, 根本就不想當個上班族. 以前, 可能因為我甚麼都不會, 所以就覺得我會注定要當個朝九晚五的上班族. 可是自從我開始寫歌、學唱歌, 越來越覺得我是可以有所選擇的.

當了三個禮拜的"正常人", 我發現, 我真的不要過這樣的生活. 我真的不要我的人生在悔恨中過去. 我有滿懷的夢想, 卻也有滿懷的無奈. 麵包和夢想, 我到底能實現哪一個? 難道真的要我為了所謂的現實而放棄夢想? 難道就別無選擇了嗎?

~為甚麼人生總是充滿了無奈.
~難道所有的立志故事都是假的?
~難道夢想要永遠都留在夢中?

Lalalala

haha. in a pretty good mood today. nothing seems able to spoil my mood so far. heehee.

last minute decided to go for the internal showcase for my music school. wasn't very good performance cause i think i was too nervous and started singing too early, but considering the fact that i just had my forth lesson this morning before the showcase, not bad already la. haha.

haha. and i found out some stuff, or rather, found someone whom i thought i wouldn't see again. didn't really realise it till a little later after seeing him. hahaha. but well, it's just a little surprising to see him. not expecting anything. tired of putting myself through the whole disappointment time and again.

but well, it is indeed serendipity, as my fren once said. though she used it on carrot and me.

why in the world am i thinking about that anyway.

I need a life...

Yesh. You didn't read it wrongly. I NEED A LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My daily routine this weeks goes like this:

• 0705 alarm clock sounds
• 0710 phone alarm sounds
• 0715 phone rings, mummy calls to make sure I'm up and about
• 0720 I struggle out of bed and pick out the clothes for the day
• 0725 head to the bathroom and bath
• 0745 finish bathing
• 0755 leave house
• 0812 board 147 along the main road
• 0824 reach Serangoon MRT station
• 0850 reach Tanjong Pagar MRT station
• 0900 start work
• 1300 go for lunch
• 1400 go back to work
• 1830 knock off half an hour after my original knock off time
• 1930 reach home, bath, watch TV, sleep

I can't believe I survived a week and it'll go on for another 9 weeks.

BUT!!! That's not the main issue. The main issue is...WHY IN THE WORLD DO I HAVE TO WORK ON EVERY FREAKING SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~walks away dejected~

~dazed~

Wah...exams are finally OVER!!!! Haha. Though it was a short exam this semester, only about a week from start to end but somehow I was TOTALLY unprepared and so I was freaking out everyday before the papers. Hahz. But anyway, it's over. To all you babes out there still taking your papers, JIAYOU!!!!!!! You gals can do it! It'll be over soon, a few more days only. It'll be PARTY after that!!! Haha. Ok...need to make up on my sleep...

nightz world~~~

FOCUS!!!!!!!!!

DARN!!! I need to focus....

FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS

-slap myself-

OUCH!!!!!!!!

~tears~

-runs back t TRY mugging-

怎麼又病了阿...

天阿...我今年是怎麼了阿. 病了又病, 真要命阿! 今天一大早起來喉嚨就疼的要命. 接著就留鼻涕又鼻塞. 後來還頭痛頭暈. 搞屁哦...

明天還有quiz!!!! 下星期就考試了啦...書又還沒讀. 真是找死阿我...

本來九點就去睡了...誰知道我十一點就爬了起來...haiz...看來我還是回去讀書吧.

祝我早日康復哦...還有明天的quiz可以混得過去.

starving...

i'm dying of hunger right now...

what i ate today:

1. 11.15am - honey mustard chicken ham from the sandwich machine
2. 1.45pm - 2 pieces of mcvities digestive biscuits
3. 6.45pm - some organic honey dipped banana toasted chips, bubble tea, vitasoy
4. 11.45pm - 1 piece of mcvities digestive biscuits

i'm so hungry..............................

lucky my roomy and neighbour going ah fang with me for supper. else i really will die X_x

In Shock

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

I'm currently in shock. Haha. But it's a good shock.

But I still don't believe how well it was kept under wraps.

I'm still in shock. Haha.

要求太高?

是我對人的要求太高了嗎? 有時覺得自己好像太自我為中心了...

可能有些時候要求別人做到的,就連自己也做不到吧. 那我又憑甚麼要求別人做到呢?

但是, 有時想要別人達到自己的要求, 那很難嗎?

雖然我的要求包括了解我心里對你的要求...

好像是有那麼點苛刻...

laments

I don't feel well...I think it's impending stomach flu...help..................................................

爱不在

Heard this song recently on the radio and I really liked it. The music was composed by David Tao and it's sung by his ex-lover Melody. How apt...

坐在这角落 心里很多话想说
我和你的错 就是舍不得放手

深爱你的我 早就应该让你自由
知道我以后 需要一直往前走

也许是越在乎 越会彼此地伤害
这样的爱情 又算是什么

爱不在 应该让自己从回忆中离开
爱不在 我们都已不存在彼此未来

有时候 对爱有太深太多依赖
好像已失去在这世界 还能够 孤单地自由

是曾经有的梦 现在只剩一场空
心里好多疑问 你忘了你的承诺

笑我自己没有用 眼泪无言地流下来
始终还是要面对 这段感情的伤痛

是因为越在乎 给彼此伤害更多
有了距离以后 看到不同的你和我

爱不在 慢慢让自己从回忆中离开
爱不在 我们都已不存在彼此未来

有时候 对你还是会有关怀
可是心里已经太明白 不是爱 不是爱

爱不在 应该让自己从回忆中离开
爱不在 我们都已不存在彼此未来

有时候 不管对爱有多少的依赖
就算再不愿意在伤心 我明白 我们只能放手

爱不在

insensitivity

oh man...i'm such an insensitive pig. i'm such an unworthy friend. i hate it when i know i have to say something but at the same time i've no idea what to say.

對不起, 有時覺得交到像我這樣的朋友, 你們還真倒楣阿...

~無言已對~

所謂的愛情長跑...

有時候, 一段感情可以維持很長的時間, 真的是因為兩人都深愛著對方嗎? 還是只因為兩人都是固執的相信自己的那段感情是經得起考驗的?所以無論發生甚麼,他們都會鎮守著那段感情,即使他們已不再愛著對方.

可是,人又該如何去判斷自己是否還愛著對方呢?畢竟感情是會隨著時間而變淡的.

但...信任也會隨著時間而增加,不是嗎?

愛情...到底是甚麼玩意ㄦ嗎...

silence needed

aren't there times when you really can't tolerate the noise around you? there may be great sounds around, sounds like music and cheering and laughter. but more often than not, you hear things you don't wanna listen to. things that drive you nuts and you just hope they'll go away.

then i'll remember how i used to play in the pool.

i'd dive all the way down and sit at the bottom of the pool and hold my breath there. drowning out all other noises, entering a world where i find peace. where i feel as though i really belong there.

a world where there's only my own thoughts...and my heartbeat.

when there's no audience in my life theatre, i can only cheer louder on my own to carry on the show.

random random

億不因腦經在再且他必得忙
訴聽想為而有不添有們能上
找不而讓我且夠想麻些也幫
很不是是我的他煩再煩事未
情差到沒因的事們的給了情
的真可人人為朋而都了他況
我心的是傾願我友煩已實們

i really wanted t rant, but i dint want anyone to know. so i decided to jumble up my words. so this is basically just a random rubbish post.

迷茫

你看到我的笑容, 你聽到我的笑聲. 但你是否看到藏在眼里的落寞、收在心里的傷感.

我不曾愛過, 可我對愛情早已沒了信心. 我身邊有著很多朋友, 可我總是免不了感到一點點的落寞.

有些事情, 表面看起來很圓滿, 可是又有誰能保證暴風雨不會來呢? 畢竟, 該發生的總是會發生. 人總該為自己的行為負責, 不是嗎? 不是說過, 做錯了, 就得為過錯負責嗎? 除非他不算錯...那難道是我們的錯嗎? 因為, 到頭來, 傷得最深的還是我們. 那我應該狠他嗎? 狠他, 有用嗎? 但我的人生從此該怎麼辦? 這21年來, 我遵守著的道理, 還能相信嗎?

當生命里的典範一個個在面前瓦解時, 你是否也會突然覺得很迷茫? 還是因為我太幼稚、太不獨立了呢?

What happens when all the principles you've been living by have been lies? What happens when you can no longer recognise the people you look up to? What do you do in the face of betrayal?

a lone figure in the sunset

...let the picture do the talking...

夢...醒了

曾經, 我相信愛情.
曾經, 我相信真愛.
曾經, 我相信婚姻.
曾經, 我相信天長地久.

現在, 我都不信了.

愛情, 只是短暫的.
真愛, 根本不純在.
婚姻, 只是一張紙.
天長地久...不可能.

-心會痛,代表心沒死.心沒死,代表有希望.有希望,代表夢沒醒...-

emo-ing

my birthday celebrations ended with a bang yesterday. was really happy, will blog about my entire celebrations later when i have the time. but meanwhile, i'm not really in the mood to blog about the happy times i had in the past week.

somehow, i just feel kinda down. feeling lonely and lost all of a sudden. you know that kinda feeling where it's as though you're not needed. and no matter where you are, no matter how many people there are around you, you just feel lonely. it's not supposed to be this way la. i just spent a wonderful week surrounded by friends and family so why in the world am i feeling this way?

sigh. maybe it's the realisation that there are alot of stuff which are out of my control? and somehow i'm not doing enough and not trying hard enough. somehow, it's just the realisation that even with an idea of what i want to do, somehow things may not be what i want it to be.

somehow i just feel so useless.

counting down...

woohoo!!!in less than 13 hours i'll be 21!! bahz. supposed to have chalet last friday. but my procrastination landed me with the decision to forgo the chalet since i couldn't prepare everything in time. BIG lesson learnt. bahz. think tml will be another boring day again since absolutely no one has asked me out tml. so sad...sighz. shall see howz ba. lucky this week is my recess week. else i wonder where got time t meet up with everyone. haha. this week already not enough time to meet up with everyone le. so many dinner t attend. hahz. anywayz. shall post on my bday tml. hahaz. looking forward to dinner at my uncle's place later. going t celebrate both our birthdays, though he's like 22 years older than me? hahz.

ciaoz

討厭我自己!!!!!

天阿! 我曾幾何時變成了這麼一個人阿!怎麼會變成這樣的嘛!!!!!

實在看不起這樣的我...我實在討厭這樣的自己!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

怎麼會這樣阿.............

不孤单的情人节

这个情人节我并不孤单！因为有朋友们陪我一起度过。虽然并不是我最最最知心的好友，但能在这个本来寂寞的夜晚找到人陪也是件不错的是哦！

今天下了课，便和宝贝慧仪到超市去找她的同学们。虽然说是她的同学，但其实我和他们也曾是一个学期的同班同学，所以也能说是我的同学吧。

天啊！我觉得我好像喝多了。怎么好像有点语无伦次了？总之我们后来在星空下一边吃火锅，一边看电视听歌，还喝了点小酒。感觉真棒！！可是我好像喝多了点，脸好红哦！哈哈。

我想我因该早点去休息吧。明天还要去跑步、买飞轮海的写真手札、k歌！而且明天还有另一轮的火锅呢！

虽然在情人节的这天，我是单身的。但有时却觉得，单身的情人节似乎过得更快乐、更充实哦！

情人节过了，但还是要在这里祝大家，情人节快乐！爱情长久、友情永固！

要快乐哦!!!

爱着你们的。。。
hermitzzz

病了

大家真的要好好照顾自己哦。下星期就过新年了，我却病倒了。喉咙好痛。。。头也痛。天啊， 救救我吧！

edited(add-ons)

卧病在床
昏昏沉沉
似乎看见你的脸
颤抖的手一伸出
才发现梦已熄灭

Dreamz

Was watching the finals for Project Superstar, was rooting for Diya. Though she wasn't first for the overall competition, I want to congratulate her for having come so far. I want to congratulate all the other competitors as well for having the courage to take that first step. Well done all of you. You've won the most important competition-the internal one.

I seriously think it takes courage to actually take the initiative to join such competitions. For this, I take my hat off my friends-XW, TJ, ZK and PJ. Won't mention names, but you know who you are and I really admire your courage.

Well, anyway, went shopping with Ange and Eunice yesterday. Was a very happy girl after the shopping spree (my daddy wasn't a very happy man though. Haha)

Bought this floral dress at this new shopping mall Square 2. Was actually reconsidering it for awhile since I seriously doubt I'll wear it again after CNY. But, oh well, my desire to own it overruled all other rational thoughts, and I bought it. Mummy thought it's quite worth it and it's pretty too. Haha.

Then we went over to Vivocity to shop. Saw this Hong Kong actor who was so cute performing on stage so we stood there and started snapping pictures of him. Then we started to ask each other what's his name. We eventually hushed up since it didn't made sense that we were so near the crowd of people snapping pictures(we being part of it) and asking aloud who in the world is he. Haha.

First stop-ZARA. Oh! I forgot to mention this. When I was trying out the dress at Square 2(at Novena), my favourite pink small jacket got 'injured'. It was a knitted piece so the edges were held together with a piece of the string. But somehow, the string got pulled out of place so the jacket had a hole under my right arm :( So I had to walk around in my sleeveless top (YUCKS!!!!) So the first thing I did at Vivo was to start searching for something to wear over my top. So at ZARA I saw this purple and brown stripped off-shoulder top which I thought wasn't too bad. But I didn't uy it since it was really a little on the ex side. And I had discount coupons to Topshop. So why pay more? Haha. So after leaving ZARA empty handed(all three of us), we headed over to Topshop!!!

Second stop-Topshop. Haha. This was where the THREE of us went wild. Ok, it wasn't that bad, but we were really in the 'we are going to buy something here for sure' mentality somehow when we stepped into the shop. So we started to pick out clothes to try on. AND!!!! I saw this...My very first reaction was:ey... Then when I tried it on, Ange was like:that is SO you... And I really liked it! As in, even before Ange said that I already really liked it. Haha. So I held on to it and didn't let go the whole time when we were in Topshop. Finally, I called my mom and asked if I should get it(it costs 80 over dollars even after discount X_x). And when she gave me the OK(that is if I think I'll wear it quite often, which I seriously believe I will), I decided on the spot to buy it. And I bought another pink long top and a purple skull canvass sling bag which I think is super cool!! Haha.

Had lots of fun shopping with the girls, though I had to leave early, I totally enjoyed myself. Especially the talks we had while waiting outside the fitting room and on the train. And standing in the middle of the shop undecided on which item to buy and which item to put back. Haha. Fun fun fun. We should really do this more often.

Oh! I went for a haircut yesterday too. Nothing very drastic, still long hair. But now it's no longer as straight since quite abit was cut off from the front and back. This is basically how I look right now.

Haha. I look funny...somehow. BIG HEAD!!!!!!!!!

Nightz world!

random

i'm just wondering...who are the people who reads my blog?besides the people on my list. are there people who chance upon here? people who searched for my name? people who linked their way here? i wonder i wonder....

confused

i'm so looking forward to the day that my dream will come true. but no matter how i wish for it to be true, deep down i know it's impossible.

then why should i cheat myself? it seriously hurts...

promises...should they exist?

my msn nick's personal message read: if promises are meant to be broken...then they shouldn't exist.

interestingly, when diana agreed with me, this was what i replied to her:

::爱萍:: 我们约好闯荡的那片天，我一个人向前 ~op~: but isn't tt very sad then?

::爱萍:: 我们约好闯荡的那片天，我一个人向前 ~op~: cause promises exists when there's trust

::爱萍:: 我们约好闯荡的那片天，我一个人向前 ~op~: but since promises can't be kept

::爱萍:: 我们约好闯荡的那片天，我一个人向前 ~op~: we can no longer trust the people around us

::爱萍:: 我们约好闯荡的那片天，我一个人向前 ~op~: without trust between people

::爱萍:: 我们约好闯荡的那片天，我一个人向前 ~op~: then what's left between people?

isn't it interesting that people can live for years with people they call friends and make things like promises without understanding the meaning behind them?and i feel as though i'm one of them. i complain, but how much do i understand myself? isn't everyone just trying to learn these stuff throughout their lives? if they can understand the meaning in this life, good for them; if they can't understand it, then there really isn't anything that they can do, is there?

wasn't in the best of mood just a moment ago. felt so depressed and disheartened by the thoughts i had. then when i went online to check up the blogs, i found ange's updates. my first thought was to send her a message. and when she replied me on msn, there was this warmth that really touched me.

like what they say: friendship is the only ship that never sinks. although there may be leaks at times, but it can be fixed and when it's fixed, it'll sail the seas again.

perhaps, just perhaps, i'm starting to get it.

a toast to friendship

rotten day

bahz...my lappie clock reads 3.47pm but i'm already feeling so tired.and i wanna blog about wat a rotten day it had been so that hopefully the rest of the day will pass peacefully, at least not as rotten.

went to the host company for our AA205 project this morning. had to attend to something so i had to cab down alone and met the rest there. and even before we could start the interview proper, the person in charge threw a bomb in our face-another NTU group had done the business process last year, exactly 2 semesters ago!!! oh my goodness...so we were praying very hard that the prof would give us the ok. but when we consulted him about an hour ago, he told us it was impossible for us to do the same process again since it was clearly stated so in the requirements. and so we called up the company and they only agreed to let us shift to the quality assurance department, which according to our tutor is not a business process and so...we've got to source for a new company for the project now...and the proposal is due next friday...

this is just so irritating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:(

一个人流浪

woah. listened to Fahrenheit's 一个人流浪 repeatedly on my way home, think i heard it around twenty times? haha. but anyway, think it's about friendship since young which soured 'cause of a misunderstanding? and some lyrics just brought back memories...memories that i didn't realise i still remember.

sometimes i really wonder how important is friendship to people. i don't dare claim that i'm the best friend anyone can get. especially since i'm always so forgetful and lost in my own world, i tend to forget my friends at times or overlook details in their life. sometimes i even wonder if i'm considered a good friend. but i really value the friendship that exists between us.

thinking back, i seem to have changed over the years. i remember i valued my friends so much back then that i could quarrel with my dad and do lots of silly things. but now, i'm so self-centred. it really makes me wonder what exactly happened to me. perhaps i'm finding excuses for myself, but this memory just came back to me this afternoon when i was listening to the song.

我们约好闯荡的那片天 我一个人向前

so many promises made. so many promises broken. i've lost confidence in promises. i no longer dare to make promises. i don't dre believe in anymore promises. words no longer mean anything. nothing in this world lasts. people said that friends that have been through thick and thin together will stick together. but what about friends who stood by your side only to betray all the promises made. don't people always place themselves before others? aren't people selfish? it's been over 7 years, but i'll never forget. the tears we cried: when she left and when she broke her promise. i didn't know it bothered me so much, i have no idea i still care. or am i just finding excuses?

i want to be who i was. i hate growing up.

i'm losing the things that i held so dear when i was young. things around me, people around me, my values and principles in life. why is this happening to me? what am i when i start lossing all these?

这一秒我哭了。因为，我开始遗失了自己。

stepping stone...

wah!just got back from a 25 min jog. not much, but still an achievement for me as it's been ages since i last got into my sports gear. then did some other routines before i went to shower. so refreshed now!

yep!before i can do anything, i've got to first ensure that i've got enough exercise to keep me healthy. so i'm going to start exercising regularly. besides being healthy, i'll be more refreshed and have more confidence in myself when it comes to tackling problems and working towards my goals.

this is the first step of my life revolution.

cheers!

living the life i want...LOL

haha.to kick start my 'boldly-living-the-life-i-want' move, i bought fahrenheit's album!haha.and since i cant go get their signature this sunday nor go see them on sat at SHE's concert, i started nagging to my hall mate. and she told me her fren's gg and i begged her t ask her fren t get their signature for me and she agreed!!!!!!!YIPPIE!!!!!!!i'm so happy!!!!

bahz...only ate subway today at 7pm...now i'm feeling hungry again...darn...supposed to go jogging later...haha...DON'T PROCRASTINATE!!!!!!!!!!! move your butt off that chair and start doing some exercise gal!

LOL. i'm nuts...

cheers!

Fahrenheit!!!

haha. over the span of less than a week, i'm now a fan of fahrenheit! i'll probably be fanatic about them for a while, and before i know it, it'll probably die down abit but i'm sure they'll still remain as my fave since this is the very first guys group that's caught my attention. even F4 didn't have such effects on me back then.lolz.

anywayz, was reading arron's blog, he's a fahrenheit member. he's around the same age as me!!!!!in fact he's only older by a few months! but anyway, he's so cute!!haha.now i've got his pictures on my lappie desktop, phone background, phone screensaver, his mvs in my phone.oh, i should look for his picture and set them as my lappie screensaver!lolz. indulge my fanaticism, i don't do this often anyway.hahz.

but back to his blog, he seems to be a pretty philosophical guy. though he seems to dwell quite a bit in the melancholic side, it all makes sense. and it all seem to be questions that often pop up in my head, it's all just a matter of whether i bother to voice it out. which apparently i don't often do since i always forget what went through my head just before i switch on my lappie.

and anyway, his determination and belief somehow influenced me and i decided to do something that i've been procrastinating for years and years. not that i'm very old, just that i've decided to do something that i always wanted to do but never had the courage to do.ok, i mean, it isn't exactly what i want to do, but this will be a first step to trying to achieve what i've always wanted so badly. i'm not going to worry about the outcome right now. no point worrying anyway. instead of wasting time on worrying, i should really spend the time wisely and do the things i want to do, things i love to do.

yep.decided.from now on, i shall boldly live the life i want.

:)

playing along

哈哈哈。受到weinz的影响，让我也来写词吧。

面对你留下的曾经，
时间无法为我暂停。
想着你说过的话语，
只能活在有你的过去。

haha.lyrics from a song i wrote some time ago.not fantastic,but somehow reflects my feelings.

emptiness once again

exam results came out and i was not very disappointed but neither was i very thrilled since i didn't quite hit my own expectations.

now new semester has started. but somehow, i'm feeling an emptiness once more. and i just feel an urge to cry, for no apparent reasons. something's missing from my life and i don't seem to know wad it is tat i want.

i seem to be living a meaningless life right now: no motivation, no destination, no reasons. in case you are worried by what i just said, nope, i'm not thinking of anything stupid. i'm just feeling quite useless right now. i don't seem to have anything to work towards; i don't seem to have anything to hold on to; i don't seem to be in existence for anyone; i don't seem capable of pursueing my dreams, even though i understand that my dreams can never come true, no matter how hard i wish for it, some things just can't be changed, can they?