emo-ing

my birthday celebrations ended with a bang yesterday. was really happy, will blog about my entire celebrations later when i have the time. but meanwhile, i'm not really in the mood to blog about the happy times i had in the past week.

somehow, i just feel kinda down. feeling lonely and lost all of a sudden. you know that kinda feeling where it's as though you're not needed. and no matter where you are, no matter how many people there are around you, you just feel lonely. it's not supposed to be this way la. i just spent a wonderful week surrounded by friends and family so why in the world am i feeling this way?

sigh. maybe it's the realisation that there are alot of stuff which are out of my control? and somehow i'm not doing enough and not trying hard enough. somehow, it's just the realisation that even with an idea of what i want to do, somehow things may not be what i want it to be.

somehow i just feel so useless.