MERRY XMAS!!!

merry xmas everyone!!

i know i havent been updating my blog.but really busy ma.lol.

alrighty...enjoy your holidays...gotta get back to packing my room now...zzz

氧气

沉入越来越深的海底 我开始想念你
我好孤寂

跌进越来越冷的爱里 我快不能呼吸
我想要你
人活著赖著一口氧气 氧气是你

如果你爱我 你会来找我
你会知道我 快不能活
如果你爱我 你会来救我
空气很稀薄 因为寂寞

跌进越来越冷的爱里 我快不能呼吸
我想要你
人活著赖著一口氧气 氧气是你

如果你爱我 你会来找我
你会知道我 快不能活
如果你爱我 你会来救我
空气很稀薄 因为寂寞

如果你爱我 你会来找我
你会知道我 快不能活
如果你爱我 你会来救我
空气很稀薄 因为寂寞

Little deer anyhow knock...

Bah...little gestures, little actions, little looks...

Little idea of what's going on...

Little deer anyhow knock -_-"

I'm alive!

Yes I am still alive for those who are wondering. Just that I'm freaking busy with work.

Heh. take care then.bye~~~

pissed

it's not like i'm doing something bad. not like i'm doing something tt can't see light. not like i'm cheating money.

why can't you be more receptive? why can't you see that i was meaning well to do all those stuff with you? why can't you see that that's part of life and not a taboo like how it used to be.

when will i ever receive your full support from the start in the things i do?

what in the world am i crying for...

tired~~~

i am drained~~~trying to absorb as much as possible now.hahz.it's hard.but i'll try...

i am tired~~~having to pacify your childish temperaments even with my increasing workload...

i am numb~~~too drained and tired to think too much about him...

i am sleepy~~~going to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

A whirlpool of emotions

i hate this feeling.

it reminds me of the time in jc.

it reminds me of carrot.

it reminds me what i went through.

it reminds me of so much.

i dun like it that my mood is starting to become pegged to his.

i dun like it that we aren't even friends but just acquaintances.

i dun like the fear that i feel lurking underneath this whirlpool of emotions right now.

i dun like the idea of crying for another person again.

i dun like the idea of going through the whole vicious cycle again.

i dun wan this feeling.

i wan it to go away...

let's go on a FOOD hunt!!!

YUM!!!

found this blog while searching for a stall featured on TV.

http://ieatishootipost.sg/

people!anyone!everyone!we should go on a proper food hunt!

hunt for cheaper and better food.

-drool-

how time flies

had our very first major pri school class gathering last night.

it wasn't exactly major in e sense tt everyone turned up, but it was probably the first one in 10 years where we tried gathering as many people as possible.and though only 13 of the 39 turned up, it was quite a success.

initially i was worried that it might turn out kinda awkward since i haven seen most of them for a decade. what with me going to a different sec sch and jc. but after settling down, i realised that it really wasn't as bad as i though it would have been. in fact, it was really fun.

we were reminiscing the good old days where our only worries were ting xie, spelling and mental sums.and how we made our chinese teacher so mad with rubbish feedback that she threw a tantrum and walked out of the room almost in tears.

even though it took me awhile to recognize some of the guys, i realise everyone didn't really change much, be it their looks or their character. it's surprising how much time has passed since we last met as a class. and it's really heartwarming to know that this group of people who were once part of my life are doing well. and it is especially good to see everyone once again.

i really hope that we can make this a more frequent event such that we wont lose contact again.

really glad to have once been part of TVPS 6A '98.

what to do what to do

arighty, besides the fact that i'm bored to tears at home, i'm not sure what to do about another thing.

i love my blog layout and stuff, but at the same time i think it's getting boring. so i dunno if i should change it...maybe learn what darling did and get a brighter, more cheerful layout. maybe it'll make life seem better...

Alrighty! Since Anggie has complaint of my blog turning rusty, I've decided to post something up in the midst of my very very extremely BORING life. Haha.

What I'm supposed to be doing but am NOT:

• finding a job
• making more accessories for sales online
• arranging photo albums dating from 2003
• packing my room
• forgetting my medicine
  

What I AM doing:

• cooking in the stead of my grandma(at least till 15th July)
• reading lots and lots of Chinese library books
• watching the last season of Grey's Anatomy
  
• ROTTING

This doesn't bode well does it? In fact, I think it sounds freaking bad. Sigh...

-goes back to rotting-

I PASSED!!!

oh gosh. the results for my last examination is finally out! and...I PASSED ALL THE MODULES!!!

oh gosh~~~since my last paper ended i have been so worried that i was going to fail something. and when i finally saw the grades for my last 4 modules i was so happy!!!!

I'M GRADUATING!!!!!

but that means i have to find a job asap and put in more effort in finding it...

落花有情，流水无意．

心都凉了．．．

recent reads

been a VERY long time since i last read something. especially something in chinese. haha. went bugis with juan last week and bought 3 books by this taiwanese author Giddens aka 九把刀. apparently he writes a range of books in different genres. the 3 books i got were all romance though.lolz.

but anyway, i've finished 2 of them so far. the books were SO good i finished the first in 2 days while the 2nd one took me just one day. haha. although they weren't exactly very think to start with, but it's really very nice!!!!

the first book was 《爱情，两好三坏》 while the second was 《月老》. OMG!!!they were so nice and so touching i was crying through some parts of the story. sigh...even though i'm a tap that switches on very easily, the books were seriously quite touching. T_T

oh well. now onto my last book, 《红线》. i'm thinking of going to the library sometime this week to find other books written by him. hahah.

it's time to grow up and start working towards what i want.

I'm mixed blood??!?!?!

haha. smth i found out some time back last year but hadn't got the chance to remember to blog about.

i'm actually mixed blood! i'm not 100% chinese. lol. how cool is that?

appears my great great grandma was peranakan. which makes me 1/16 peranakan!!!

lolz...i feel like i'm telling a joke here...bahz...

no wonder i look like a malay...it's the 1/16 gene acting up...lolz~~~

IT'S OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY GAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWD!!!

MY LAST UNI PAPER IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LET'S PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

爱，不需要让你知道

heard this story on the radio and got it from the DJ's blog. was really really touched when i heard the story. so decided to share it here.

寒冷的二月，山中茫茫的雪中，一男一女艰难的移动着，他们都是户外运动的爱好者，相约进山看雪，途中意外碰到暴风雪，迷了路。

女人很喜欢男人，他们之间没有表白过，因为之前，女人仅仅是从男人的眼神中，捕捉到喜欢的信息，但是不确定。他们两个都是骄傲而怕受伤的人，因为不确定，所以不表白。 大雪中，他们手拉着手，说着鼓励的话，在齐膝的雪中艰难的前进，不停的走着，常常走不了几步就会摔交，衣服已经湿透了，被冷风一吹，两个人都嘴唇青紫。体力消耗很大，但女人仍然边走边笑，男人看着女人，轻松不少。尽管都在微笑，但是他们知道，死神正一步步向他们逼近。已经三天了，周围仍然是一望无际的雪地，体力已经透支，最糟糕的是，食物也越来越少了。

为了生存，他们把所有的食物都集中到了女人的背包里，由女人好好规划，控制每天的食量，以应付最糟糕的情形。更不幸的事情发生了，由于雪太深，在路过一片树林时，女人掉进雪洞里扭伤了脚，整个腿肿了起来，每走一步都要忍住巨痛。男人已经极度疲惫了，没可能背上女人前进，而且，女人也拒绝男人背她，她很清楚，这样的话，他们会一起死在山上。斟酌再三，只能由男人独自前行，找到出山的路，寻求救援。男人为女人支好了帐篷，安顿好。他们整理了彼此的背包，女人告诉男人"还剩下八块压缩饼干，咱们一人四块"，随后说"你出去帮我烧点水好吗？"男人烧好水送进帐篷来，女人说饼干分好了，装在两个包的头包里，男人摸了摸两个背包的头包，凭感觉，的确是一样多。他拉着女人的手，说"等着我，我马上回来"。直到这时，他们仍然没有向对方表达自己的爱恋，他们都是理智的人，这种情况下，可能一分手就是永别，如果表白之日就是永别之日，未免太过残忍。

男人根本不知道自己能不能走出去，如果，他们中只有一人能生存，那何必让对方用一生的时间，去忘记一个逝去的爱人呢？记得一个普通的朋友就足够了。女人无限依恋的看着男人"我等你，我知道你能走出去。"男人站起身，替女人盖好睡袋，转身。每走一段路，男人都做下记号，他一心想着找到救援，回去接女人，饿了，啃一口饼干，渴了，吃两口雪。男人的速度越来越慢，他提醒自己，不能停，只要停下就意味着死亡，那女人也就没救了，他努力坚持，他告诉自己，一定要出去。 终于，男人耗尽了最后一丝气力，倒下，失去知觉前，他想，女人的食物还够吗？还能撑住吗？醒来，男人发现自己躺在救援队的帐篷里，朋友发现他们没有按时出山，救援队已经进山搜救很久了。其实救援队一开始并没有发现男人，他们先找到女人的帐篷，然后顺着男人留下的记号，找到几乎冻僵奄奄一息的男人。男人的体温渐渐恢复，他问"她呢"，大家不语，他突然发现，救援队的成员眼角都隐隐有着泪光。男人一呆，"告诉我，她呢"，挣扎着要出去找她。救援队长用颤抖的声音说"别找了，她不在了，我们发现她的时候，已经去了，可能是出去融雪烧水，没力气回到帐篷，冻死了"……

三年后，男人结婚了，是一个和女人一样喜欢户外运动、喜欢笑的可爱女孩。女人走后，这个女孩陪男人走过了最难受的日子，男人逐渐快乐起来，有了感情，两人走到了一起，有时，他们也会一起怀念惋惜女人的逝去，也更珍惜现在的感情。当年的救援队长参加了他的婚礼。婚礼后，队长来到女人的墓地，女人在照片上，笑容依旧美丽。队长对女人说"你放心吧，他结婚了，很幸福"。队长流泪了，其实，当年，队长说谎了。女人不是冻死的，救援队发现她的时候，她好好的躺在帐篷里，睡袋盖的很好，男人替她盖好的，她舍不得动。女人是饿死的，打开她的头包，只有几块平平的石板，没有什么压缩饼干，剩下的压缩饼干，不是八块，只有四块而已。女人，把剩下的所有食物，都留给了男人，她真的，很爱他。队长发现女人的时候，她早已经僵硬的手中紧紧攥着一张小纸条："我肯定撑不到他回来了，别告诉他，他该有自己的生活。"

流年不利啊。。。

I've realised that my friends around me, ie, those born in the year of the tiger, are mostly facing relationship problems this year. It's so creepy!!!! Ever since CNY, the bad news just keep coming! And I just can't help but worry for everyone. And the worst part is that I've got absolutely no idea what to do to help them. I don't even know how to console them or give them useful suggestions...

sigh...it's times like this that I feel lucky I'm single...

累了。。。

哇~~~发现我快一个月没blog了。 所以在三月结束前，打算blog一blog。

天啊！怎么一个学期过得那么快呢？不久前我才发觉这是我党学生的最后一个学期，怎么现在就快结束了呢？多三个星期就考试了，然后考一个星期就考晚了！我连工作都还没开始找呢！！！

而且这个学期简直就是一场恶梦。。。作业多到~~~

时间啊。。。放慢脚步一下下。。。口以吗~~~？

會呼吸的痛

本來以為可以以平常心來面對你, 一直到坐在你身邊的那一刻, 我才發現, 原來我是個很爛的演員. 我實在無法過我自己這一關.

恬說過: 心徹底的傷過之後 就會好的.

我今天才發現, 我的心早就徹底的傷過了. 只是如今已經麻木了, 對所謂的開心不再有任何的感覺.

聽到傷心的歌, 依然會感到心里有陣陣的痛, 可是不在那麼痛, 也不再那麼容易流淚. 只因為曾經傷得徹底.

想念是會呼吸的痛
它活在我身上所有角落
亨你愛的歌會痛
看你的信會痛連沉默也痛

遺憾是會呼吸的痛
它流在血液中來回滾動
後悔不貼心會痛
恨不懂你會痛
想見不能見最痛

我發誓不再說謊了
多愛你就會抱你多緊的
我的微笑都假了
靈魂像漂浮著你在就好了

我發誓不讓你等候
陪你做想做的無論甚麼
我越來越像貝克
怕心被人觸碰你回來那就好了

能重來那就好了

錯過...

不知道為甚麼...當我知道那消息時...心裡似乎有些不平衡.

一直到現在, 還是平復不了心情. 這感覺, 到底是深麼呢?

不過, 就算真的明白了又怎樣呢? 錯過就是錯過了...有些事情是真的無法再重來地.

生命如果只剩一秒...

I don't know why, but been feeling kinda moody recently. Perhaps it's my periodical 'down time'.

Been thinking about stuff like...why people don't seem to treasure what they have until they lose it...

But then again...while waiting for someone you like...where is the limit? How long is enough? When do you stop waiting for the person you like to return the feelings? When is the difference between 癡情, 專情 & 自作多情?

如果生命真的只剩一秒, 我應該會有很多遺憾吧...

Procrastination...

yes yes yes. it's been ages since I last did the following:

1. continue updating my perth trip
2. update my story
3. write a song
4. played bball
5. read a book
6. went shopping
7. finish packing my room(which resembles a war zone right now)

sigh...the works of procrastination. and the temptations from online videos!!!

maybe i should get the stuff done gradually...BUT SCHOOL'S STARTING THIS MONDAY!!!!

another day before school reopens and i failed to get 2 electives...needing another freaking elective to clear my AUs...disgusting...

bacj to my tv program...sigh...procrastination...

醜陋的人性

最近沒甚麼作, 所以多點時間去想一些平常沒深入去想的事.

不知怎麼地, 忽然覺得人性好丑陋. 發現有好多人可以為了自己的利益而作出傷害別人的事.

為甚麼人們就不能從別人的角度去看待事情呢?

不是每件事都有絕對的對與錯, 人們又何必如此否定別人的意見呢?

人, 可以為了達到目的而處心積慮地設計別人.

多恐怖的世界啊! 突然好懷念小時候的單純...

PAIN!!!!

first and foremost...i feel like i wanna die!!! besides the time when i was ambulanced to hospital...this is the worst pain i've experienced...

went to remove a wisdom tooth today. even when the doctor was stitching me up i was starting to feel the pain already. and now, after i changed the gauze, it's hurting even worse. WTH!!!!!!!!

~PAIN~

sigh. before the pain started, i was at queensway changing the grip for the 2 rackets my aunt gave me. while waiting for Tian i was thinking and thinking and thinking about some stuff. then this phrase came to me...

心跳的頻率, 是愛的指引嗎?

then along the way home on the long long bus ride ( totally miss taking a long bus ride), i started to think about alot of stuff. the past and present, and even dared to venture alittle into the future.

but then again, after the carrot incident, i seriously dun dare to imagine futures and feelings anymore. in a way, I'm starting to fear 'maybe's.

oh well...back to trying to get over the pain...in my mouth la!