year 3 projection

I looked into the glass (my laptop la)...and I see it...what the future holds in store for me...(only in my last year of studies)...

A FREAKING SLACK YEAR!!!!!!!!!

Mauahaha. Even though I have to retake my com law, i have only 4 other core modules and 3 electives to clear in year 3. which makes it 4 modules per semester on average.

which is SLACK.

haha.

And on top of that, I have left over S/U options.

I thought I had 2, which means an average of one S/U elective per semester.

But now...I realise...I HAVE 3 S/U OPTIONS LEFT!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!

WOOHOO!!!!I'm lost for words. LOLZ

lousy lousy

screwed up my exams big time...flunked a core module...my only consolation is that it didn't pull down my GPA. unless you wanna take in that 0.01 drop. bahz....

sian-ness

乏味的生活

i have no idea why but there seems to be so little happenings in my life now...i cant even think o smth decent t blog about...

-.-

it's now 2.30am and i've got work in a few hour's time and i'm feeling real sleepy.

but there's this part in me that refuses to go to bed. it's as though by refusing to go to bed i can will time to slow down a little. when time slows down, tml will take a longer time to come, leading to the future coming later. then i can take my time to ponder over how exactly i wish to live my life from then on.

i seem to dread the start of everyday these days. sundays seems to be the only days i look forward to, cause i get to do wad i love doing.

but i hate it when i cant do the things i love doing right. it just makes me feel so useless...

down

not been in the best of mood recently. feeling very vexed over alot o stuff, i'm like experiencing this kinda personality/aims crisis very frequently nowadays.

and the time bomb(s) at home don't help matters at all.

been listening to this other song, by emil chow. maybe due to my mood recently, but it just seems so apt for me.

《寂寞的眼》

这一次我又忘记了改变我自己
这一次我又轻易的相信你是唯一
一次一次聚散分离使我怀疑
世界上没有真正的爱情值得回忆

一次一次告诉自己
伤心往事不该惋惜
一次一次提醒自己
这样的爱情转眼让他过去

但是你寂寞的眼 有寂寞的泪
让我忘了改变我的一切
让我在迷惑之中
忘了曾经深深的叹息

但是你寂寞的眼 有寂寞的泪
让我忘了改变我的一切
让我又不由自主
轻易让你飞入我梦里

任性

今天下班的时候，好好地听了一遍这首歌的歌词。竟发现它的歌词好有意义。怎么会突然有种感同身受的感觉呢？太容易被感动。。。每次发现得不到，就会放开手，然后独自陷入谷底。尝试着逃避，逃避心里的阵阵抽痛。难道注定我会一直这样吗？

《任性》

喜欢听歌 感人的歌
它让我觉得爱是对的
睡不着 我就醒着
不再让日子被打乱了

寂寞很吵 我很安静
情绪很多 我很镇定
因为投入 所以放弃
不愿再被痛醒

固执算不算任性的要求
付出也可能看不到结果
终于你还是选择了放手
用逃避让感情犯错

喜欢唱歌 动人的歌
它让我获得一点心得
得不到我就放掉
不去碰触到我的需要

寂寞很吵 我很安静
情绪很多 我很镇定
因为投入 所以放弃
不愿再被痛醒

承诺算不算任性的要求
人总是不能太容易感动
当爱失去自我失去包容
只想要从混乱解脱

固执算不算任性的要求
付出也可能看不到结果
终于你还是选择了放手
用逃避让感情犯错

喜欢听歌 感人的歌
它让我觉得爱是对的

該何去何從呢?

那天, 走在上班的路上,看到每個趕著上班的人, 心里突然有所感處. 雖然從小就覺得上班族真的好神氣, 可是現在的我, 根本就不想當個上班族. 以前, 可能因為我甚麼都不會, 所以就覺得我會注定要當個朝九晚五的上班族. 可是自從我開始寫歌、學唱歌, 越來越覺得我是可以有所選擇的.

當了三個禮拜的"正常人", 我發現, 我真的不要過這樣的生活. 我真的不要我的人生在悔恨中過去. 我有滿懷的夢想, 卻也有滿懷的無奈. 麵包和夢想, 我到底能實現哪一個? 難道真的要我為了所謂的現實而放棄夢想? 難道就別無選擇了嗎?

~為甚麼人生總是充滿了無奈.
~難道所有的立志故事都是假的?
~難道夢想要永遠都留在夢中?